[ In her youth, Mary was often too naive to take note of when she was being slighted, and as her mind matured and she became aware of it the effect was a sort of hardening of her heart. She convinced herself that she was better off without others in her orbit, for they hadn't reached her superior level of intellect and clearly had no desire to do so. She comforted herself with the idea that beauty faded quickly but the faculties of the mind endured far longer. But since her sisters' marriages there has come a thaw to Mary. Tentatively, like a late blooming flower has she been reaching outwards and upwards, towards the sun. Tonight she felt wonderful in her performance and her family's reaction was one she hadn't realized she could cherish. She hadn't believed she needed their praise, but it touched her heart regardless.
And then Lydia had arrived and it's a reminder of past hurts. A few years ago Mary probably would have attempted to think up an intelligent response. Something about Lydia being uncultured and unaware of the subtleties of the musical world. However, Lydia spoke truth in saying their father had had to make Mary stop playing and she would have no retort to such a sting. And so she sits with eyes shut as she tries to calm her soft heart. Trying to remember how to harden herself as she has before almost works until Mr. Cartwright's voice breaks through and her eyes fly open in utter surprise.
His movement to the pianoforte is followed with red-rimmed eyes as he seats himself and begins. What he produces is fumbling and poorly done right away and Mary exchanges a look with Miss Darcy as neither lady understands at first what he's doing. But when Mrs. Bennet and Lydia start cackling at his performance, she realizes this is for her benefit: a diversion from the cruel memories of her not so distant past. And the fact that he's making an absolute fool of himself causes a true smile to spread across her face. Mary doesn't outright laugh, but she's utterly diverted from her previous woes and finds she enjoys his silly antics. Naturally she does have moments where she cringes at a badly hit high note but it doesn't escape her notice how he doesn't care a wit how he'll be perceived for this. He lives his life with such freedom in all he does and says. As the song comes to an end and everyone claps, Mary feels a fluttering inside her the likes of which she's never felt before. It feels like an entire field's worth of butterflies are rapidly beating their wings inside of her.
By the time he addresses her, Mary has managed to compose herself and answer. ]
You jest, but I would instruct you if you were serious. Even that display is not enough for me to deem you hopeless. Besides, we both know you have a great deal of talent and your understanding of music means you could learn other instruments if your interest were to lie that way.
[ She very much doubts he will wish to, as a man has little need to pick up the pianoforte, but the image of them seated together at the instrument as she teaches him does enter her mind. ]
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And then Lydia had arrived and it's a reminder of past hurts. A few years ago Mary probably would have attempted to think up an intelligent response. Something about Lydia being uncultured and unaware of the subtleties of the musical world. However, Lydia spoke truth in saying their father had had to make Mary stop playing and she would have no retort to such a sting. And so she sits with eyes shut as she tries to calm her soft heart. Trying to remember how to harden herself as she has before almost works until Mr. Cartwright's voice breaks through and her eyes fly open in utter surprise.
His movement to the pianoforte is followed with red-rimmed eyes as he seats himself and begins. What he produces is fumbling and poorly done right away and Mary exchanges a look with Miss Darcy as neither lady understands at first what he's doing. But when Mrs. Bennet and Lydia start cackling at his performance, she realizes this is for her benefit: a diversion from the cruel memories of her not so distant past. And the fact that he's making an absolute fool of himself causes a true smile to spread across her face. Mary doesn't outright laugh, but she's utterly diverted from her previous woes and finds she enjoys his silly antics. Naturally she does have moments where she cringes at a badly hit high note but it doesn't escape her notice how he doesn't care a wit how he'll be perceived for this. He lives his life with such freedom in all he does and says. As the song comes to an end and everyone claps, Mary feels a fluttering inside her the likes of which she's never felt before. It feels like an entire field's worth of butterflies are rapidly beating their wings inside of her.
By the time he addresses her, Mary has managed to compose herself and answer. ]
You jest, but I would instruct you if you were serious. Even that display is not enough for me to deem you hopeless. Besides, we both know you have a great deal of talent and your understanding of music means you could learn other instruments if your interest were to lie that way.
[ She very much doubts he will wish to, as a man has little need to pick up the pianoforte, but the image of them seated together at the instrument as she teaches him does enter her mind. ]